Comparing and Competing

Hey ladies!

I apologize that it’s been a while since I have posted! Life’s been a little busy and to be honest, I haven’t known what to write about. I’ve been learning SO much, but haven’t really known how to share it with you all. I feel like you have to be here in my life with me for me to make any sense in what I want to share. But, I am finally just going to do it.

So I’ve discovered this one book that is literally changing my life. I know I say that about almost every Christian inspirational books (especially for women), but this time I really mean it. Ladies, if you have not already… go buy the book, “God Loves Ugly” by Christa Black, read it, and go through the exercises she offers at the end of each chapter. You will never be the same, I promise! She challenges us women, encourages us, and shares her own struggles, dreams, desires, etc. It’s amazing!

I’m only a few chapters in, but I am already learning SO much about how I view myself,  how God views me, and how I can change all the negative hurtful things I believe about myself. I am learning what it means to truly love myself, not because of some formula she’s given me, but because she’s given a source that is the true Healer in my life: Christ.

There is one topic in general that has really stuck out to me… us women. Okay, so the whole book is about women, but I mean us women with each other. Have you ever walked into a room, looked around, and instantly (whether you realize it or not) began comparing yourself to others? You find the super attractive women who’d be way too good to be friends with you, the average ones that wouldn’t be, or the ones you are too good for. You find the skinny gorgeous women, the average, and the fat ones. As much as I would love to say that isn’t me, it totally is! It wasn’t until I began reading this book that I realized I am a huge judge. I find myself every day multiple times a day comparing myself to others, whether or not I feel superior to them or not.

There is one section of the book in chapter 3 I would love to share with you. In this section Christa is addressing different emotional enemies she has had to fight over the years (and probably the rest of her life). This one in particular is:

Feelings of Insecurity

“Any time I have a flight into Los Angeles Airport, I know  I’m going to battle feelings of insecurity. I’ve finally learned that this might not mean that I’m insecure, but it does mean I have to be prepared to fight an old enemy that I’m still seeking to permanently conquer. Big boobs with rock-hard backsides walk past me again and again, their owners carrying designer handbags, displaying sun-kissed skin, and mindlessly tossing long, flowing hair extensions to and fro. If I choose to focus on what another woman has that I don’t have, I throw myself into the dungeon of jealousy. Someone else is always going to have something that you want. As perfect as some appear on the outside, no one ever has it all. If I choose, however, to look at and admire those around me, smiling and blessing the strangers I once perceived as my worst enemies, I win every time. As so do they.

You’d be surprised how powerfully disarming one woman smiling at another woman can be.

This is a huge reason why women have catty tendencies. If I walk into a room full of strangers, I always make a beeline for the women. Always. I quickly introduce myself with a smile, compliment where it’s due, and dispel tensions and snotty comparisons with friendship and sincerity. Women are rude to each other because of one thing: we compare and compete. The second I let the women in the room know that I’m not a threat, that I’m an ally and I’m not at war with them, then they usually put down their defenses and aren’t at war with me.

I don’t believe women ever really battle each other- they’re battling themselves and their own insecurities. When we finally come to realize that fact, secure in who we are and who God made us to be, I believe that women can be united like never before.”

And I honestly could not have said that better.

I totally encourage you to buy a copy of this book. I got it for about $15 at Barnes and Noble, but I provided a link to find it through Christian Book Distributors (may be cheeper that way). I encourage you to read through what Christa has to say and work through the exercises. Allow God to begin healing the holes inside your heart and change the way you think and believe about yourself. You’d be amazed how changing how you value yourself can change how you value others.

Let’s not get caught up comparing and competing with the women in our lives. We need each other for encouragement and camaraderie.

I hope you have a blessed week!
Be kind to one another,

~Woman of Purity