Alright, so I have a confession to make:
The last few days, all I have wanted is a guy in my life. And not just any guy… I mean my future guy. You know, the ONE. The one I’m eventually going to marry and be with the rest of my life…
But sadly, God has a different plan… and I haven’t met him yet. Most of the time I am totally fine being single and waiting for God to begin writing my love story, but every so often I end up like I have been the last few days: lonely. I see a cute guy and begin to wonder. I see a couple either hug or kiss and I get jealous and think, “It’s not fair! Why can’t I have a boyfriend now?” And then I see a family with little kids and it’s a mixed feeling: sometimes I can’t wait, and then other times I’m so glad having kids is not in the horizon!
The part I struggle with the most during this lonely season is how to not feel lonely. It’s almost like my thoughts are overwhelmed with how my life is right now and how it should change. I can’t escape it and I can’t distract myself. And then when I give in to my longing for that companionship and begin to watch chick flicks (which is my “relief”) and start daydreaming about my guy (meeting him, having my first kiss, what it would be like to be married, etc), I end up feeling worse about myself! I begin to think about all my flaws and how I won’t ever find a “perfect” man like those guys in the movies and in my mind… among other things. It’s like a positive reinforcement cycle that keeps me going into a deeper and deeper pit I can’t get out of. Before I know it I’m stuck, depressed, and feel completely awful about myself.
As I was thinking about this today and having a mini pity party, I realized it’s like that a lot with addictions. We all have these cravings in life, especially cravings for wholeness and to feel good. Some of us find relief of these cravings with drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, videos on youtube, chickflicks (oops), food, lack of food, and anything else that can distract us and give us a slight amount of “happiness” for the time being. But just like with me and my chickflicks… it can leave us feeling worse about ourselves and even emptier. It only brings relief for that brief period of time… and when those cravings come back (and they will), we have to keep, over and over and over again, trying to bring satisfaction to ourselves.
But we never, ever will. These are all substitutes. They aren’t what will truly fill the cravings of our heart.
You see, we are all made with this hole in our heart and souls (I’ve been told this countless times over my lifetime, but now I think I truly understand it). And as much as we think we can fill it in our own power and with our own brilliant ideas, we can’t. Only God can truly do that.
On my way to work I began talking to God a little about my predicament. I was tired of feeling lonely and single and wanted relief. And then He brought this passage to mind:
“And the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a well-watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”
“Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of man! For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.”
He reminded me of these passages and whispered into my heart freedom and fullness. Only HE can bring wholeness to our lives. Only HE can satisfy us when we are dry, lonely, broken, lost, confused, hungry, craving anything, etc. Only HE can bring us comfort. Only HE can water us so we overflow with His presence. Our waters will not fail because He does not fail. He fills us up and then continues filling us up so we are never in want.
No guy can ever make you whole or fulfilled, only Christ can. No drugs or alcohol can give you peace, calm, and joy… only Christ can. Pornography and sex will not satisfy your cravings/needs nor make you more of a man or woman… only Christ can. Food will never fix your problems… only Christ can.
But He can only do this in our lives if we allow Him to.
So if you’re in a place (like me), feeling incomplete in whatever way you do, I would like to encourage you to go to the One who can truly make you whole and satisfied in life. I promise you He will be ecstatic to be your fulfiller!! You will never be in want with Him fully in your life.
You won’t need a guy, drugs, alcohol, food, etc.
You will have Jesus and He will be MORE than enough!!
Hope you ladies have a blessed week,
~Woman of Purity