(beware: may be filled with scattered thoughts)
“May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to You,
O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read this passage (yet I still had to google it to figure out the reference) and how many times this verse has knocked the wind out me with it’s conviction. So many times my thoughts haven’t been pleasant, my words haven’t been graceful, and the meditations of my heart have been foul. I become consumed with lust, jealousy, inappropriate thoughts towards guys that go beyond lust, anger, hatred, etc… (the list goes on and on). I also begin to think negative thoughts towards myself causing a self-loathing worse than my mortal enemy’s toward me. It all continues in a downward spiral creating an even greater rift between my heart and God’s. Instead of my words and the meditation of my heart being pleasing to God, I am doing the opposite, slowly destroying the person God created to be whole.
A few days ago (and honestly on and off for a long time…) I got to a point where I reached this point. And the evidence of this all?… I dropped the “f” bomb at work near the end of my shift (I was exhausted). *yikes*
Okay, so many of you probably have no problem with this. In fact you may have laughed at this being a huge mortifying moment for me. “It’s just a swear word… It’s not like you killed someone.” BUT… scripture says the words of our mouth show the true character of our heart. And if we’re to have a heart like Christ, we need to have speech that reflects Christ and won’t place us in a position to be condemned by those who don’t believe in Jesus as their Savior (Titus 2:6-8).
Every co-worker of mine thought it was hilarious and kept teasing me afterwards about being a sailor. Each time they teased me though I realized more and more the platform I had placed before of me being a clean-mouthed person was gone. I wasn’t placed any more in a position that could encourage them to start getting rid of their language. But honestly, I didn’t really have a platform before.
I had placed myself on one made on top of sand… I was being “perfect” by my own power. My words out loud in public may not have been “bad,” but the meditation of my heart was anywhere but in line with Christ. I really did curse like a sailor in my head or by myself in secret where only I heard myself light my mouth on fire. I also put myself down continually, convincing myself I had no value or worth… which this is also completely untrue. It took my eyes off of the work of Christ in my life and caused a negativity in my life that hindered me more than helped.
I think it’s really important for all of us to have our mindset, heart, and life aligned with God’s word… including our private life that nobody really sees. Whether we think it does or not, our private life actually affects us, so lets make sure we are showing others who Christ is in every possible way. And you never know… when you think no one’s watching you, someone may actually be and how you live your life could affect them in either a positive or negative way.
So I want to challenge you (along with myself), for those of you who are seeking to live a life of purity (or just want to know how you can), follow Paul’s instructions in Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
When our lives are meditating on Christ and aligned with His word, it will be easier for our lives to reflect His goodness. Our words will be gracious and our actions will be loving. People will see us and can’t help but see Christ and His work in our lives.
Keep up the good work and don’t get discouraged if you mess up time and again. Just pick yourself up, brush off the dust, know and believe God gives 2nd and 3rd chances continually, and keep going forward.
And like my phone’s lock screen quote says,
“You don’t have to wait to hear ‘Well done’ if you’re doing it right. You can know every day that God is smiling and saying, ‘That’s My girl!'”
Hope you have a blessed weekend!
~Woman of Purity