Boys, boys, boys.
I had a counseling appointment today, and what did we talk about?
I’m sure I’ve mentioned before in previous posts why I’ve been seeing a counselor, but in case you missed that memo, I am. There is definitely baggage in my past I need healing from, especially when it comes to the area of rejection (dun, dun, duuunnnnn (The Croods anyone?)).
I am fairly certain I am not the only girl who can be boy crazy sometimes (or all the time… *innocent face*).
You know, when that handsome guy (that you may or may not have a crush on) looks your way or smiles just right you go weak in the knees and butterflies squirm in your stomach. If you happen to just brush arms with him, then oh my gosh, on cloud nine you go! If he happens to tease you, then obviously he must think you are the bees knees! Or how about when he actually texts you back? Woah man!
And how about that moment when you see him walk through the door (or just discover he’s in the same vicinity in general) and your heartBEATSSOLOUDANDSOFAST that you’re certain everyone around you can hear it or it’s going to pop right out of your chest! And oh my gosh, how he just makes you blush with anything he says or does!!
I’m sure the list can go on and on. There are SO many things guys do (whether they realize it or not) that cause us girls to do anything to grasp even an inkling of their attention and love.
But what about those times where he doesn’t text back, doesn’t look your way (ever), or when he stands you up when he says he’s going to be somewhere? What about that time he doesn’t really acknowledge you when you try and have a conversation with him? Or that one time he looks at you like you’re an idiot (well, at least you’re certain that’s the expression he made) when you say something… well, stupid.
If you’re anything like me, your emotions will constantly roller coaster with each interaction with this special someone (or any guy’s attention). If you seem to be rejected, then obviously you’re not desirable… but if you seem to be someone he’s interested in, then it’s apparent that you actually are someone to pursue!
But, it shouldn’t ever be like that.
As I was talking with my counselor through this mindset, he brought to my attention a passage from Genesis from after Adam and Eve ate the fruit. God says to the woman (Genesis 3:16 ESV):
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.
And your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
Okay, so for years I’ve always read this as women trying to control their husbands and just not being able to. I mean, for years (centuries, millenniums), this kind of mindset of guys ruling over women has honestly been how things were done. Guys ruled and women took care of them. Guys ruled and women would never be satisfied. Guys this, guys that, and us women were put on the back burner.
But my counselor had this spin to the verse that I hadn’t ever thought of before:
We will always desire him… to the point that our desire for him will consume us. Whether that guy wants to or not, he has become the focal point to our lives, “ruling” over us.
Some (young) women will do ANYTHING to get the love and attention of a guy, to the point where they ruin their lives. They’ll fall for the jerks and men who don’t fully respect them because just for a moment they found that appreciation they may never have had before. Before they know it, their lives will be going down a completely different path than they had ever envisioned for their future.
It’s heartbreaking. Yet I am SO guilty of this.
Guys rule… because we drool over them. (Figuratively speaking. Literally is just nasty.)
SO, just like my counselor is encouraging me in my own life, let go of the guy(s) in your life.
They’re not ours anyway.
They’re God’s… and He, in His own amazing and perfect timing, will bring that special someone into our lives.
Use God for healing of any brokenness in your life, for wisdom, discernment, and for finding the ONLY love that can truly satisfy and bring fulfillment and wholeness to our lives. He IS love and He loves unconditionally, which can be really hard to grasp sometimes. But when you allow Him to work in His best way for us, amazing things happen.
And then when you least expect it…
Well, you know what they all say. 😉
I hope you all are blessed by this and found some sort of encouragement through my learning and healing journey.
Keep fighting the good fight and your mindset focused on Christ.
And good luck with the guys!
Woman of Purity~