“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
In all of your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”
At our youth camp a couple of weekends ago, one of the pastors who spoke, Jabin Chavez, made a point that has stuck with me since: sometimes we will be walking along the path of our lives and unexpectedly, God calls us into a different direction than what we thought He wanted for our lives. We then have a choice. We can either trust Him and follow Him where we calls us, or we can ignore Him and try and navigate ourselves down the path we think we should go.
Talk about conviction.
I can’t stop thinking about this image as I go about my mundane every day life. Ever since I was little, I have tried controlling situations, including my future. I had successfully controlled my food intake, so I thought I could do so with the rest of my life. Since I had a pretty unstable childhood, it has been one of my coping mechanisms to keep my head above water. I want to know my path for my future so I can control my way to get me there. Sadly though, I have never quite been able to fully control anything about my life and right now I again have no idea what the future holds. I don’t know where God is leading me, and it’s scary!
Time and again I keep trying to take the reigns and go my own way. Now, I wish I could claim I am one of those rare, unsteriotypical women who can easily navigate their way throughout a city, but I am just as bad at that as I am at navigating myself through my own life. I need a map, and even then I still don’t quite know how to read it until I actually have traveled it. Once I know my way and have seen it in person, I am good.
It is the scariest thing ever to trust my future to God. It’s an uncertain and new territory and I feel so incredibly VULNERABLE giving up something I’ve tried holding onto most of my life. What if God leads me down a path that is horrible? What if it’s hard? What if it’s completely out of my comfort zone? Uncertainties terrify me. I don’t like feeling this way.
I was haunted by these thoughts today as I became overwhelmed by all these potential paths for my future. Its so hard to trust God when I have no idea where He wants me to go. I am looking at this map He’s written for me and I don’t get it. Just like I got lost this past weekend out in the middle of nowhere past the Dalles (ask me about it sometime… it was horrible!) at three different Ys in the roads, I am terrified I will pick the wrong side with the forks in my life. It would be so embarrassing to have to turn back around (thankfully I didn’t have any witnesses this past weekend) and go back so I can take the right path.
I began to cry as I was bombarded by doubts, worry, fear and stress.
Now, I should probably mention something: one of the biggest areas I have a hard time trusting God with is my love story (typical, I know). Sometimes, actually most times, I think I know what’s best for me (Ha). I will find someone who I begin to absolutely adore and in my mind begin to envision a future for us (you’re probably laughing at this right now. No judging me! 😉 ). This is so dangerous, as I have learned time and again, yet it’s still something I do. Before I know it, my whole heart and emotions are caught up in this imaginary, “perfect” love story.
This idea was especially on my mind as I was crying because it is something that is unravelling in my life and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop it. This imaginary story is going down one path, but I think God is leading me down another. He is closing one door, but I’m not entirely sure where the other open one is. And then Satan keeps rubbing all my insecuries in my face, making my wounds deeper and harder to keep my head clear to hear the voice of God.
BUT… as I began to cry out to God for help, He brought this verse (Prov. 3:5-6) to mind.
Trusting on God is hard, but it is possible.
I know I can’t be the only one that struggles with this topic in their life, especially when it comes to relationships. God is not like those we know or encounter though. He, unlike most of us who are completley selfish humans, will never let us down. He has the very best in store for you. Every single time.
I want to encourage you to take this verse and others like it, especially ones about peace, and create a booklet or papers on your walls and begin to claim them over your life. Begin to fight and declare your trust in God… and then walk down the path God has created for you with your eyes on Christ. He is the best navigator, and His maps won’t lead you down a road that’s along the worst route, like Google maps do time and again. He will lead you down paths that are perfect and will bring Him the most glory.
What does it mean to trust God?
Letting go of the reigns, letting Him take the wheel, putting our pride aside, allowing ourselvs to be vulnerable, allowing His grace to cover us, no matter how hard and no matter the costs… and delighting ourselves in God so He can give us the desires of our heart.
Thankfully with God, He doesn’t expect trust and not return anything. He promises to guide us and walk through our lives with us. He always has our back and He will always catch us, and when we let Him direct our paths, He will create good from every circumstance.
I hope this long blurb encourages you.
Have a blessed week!
Woman of Purity~