Where do I even start in my recap of you?
I meant to jog my memory by looking back over old blog posts and journal entries, but I never got around to it, ha. Oh well. Whatever I remember will hopefully by God-inspired to encourage you all in how you view this past year and how you view the years to come.
2017 to me was supposed to be my year of Transformation. I was tired at how I was living my life and how my thought life was constantly pointing South. I knew my lifestyle was contrary to what God commands us Christians to live like, so I was determined to change. I needed to. 2016 was a dark year for me in many ways and I wanted to get back to where I was at before.
I just don’t think I quite grasped that the enemy would NOT want that for me.
I have never struggled more, especially in the area of living a life of purity, than I have this year. I was in for a fight, yet I wasn’t really prepared for it. Yes, at times I became “equipped” for battle because I started spending time with God, but I have to be honest, I failed WAY more than I won.
The awesome thing about God is that He never gave up on me.
I am so thankful for this past year. It was hard in many ways, yet I’ve grown sooo much, especially more in the area of extending grace toward myself – which is soooo huge for me. I’ve also learned more about God and setting boundaries that help me live more in line with God’s Word. God has worked on my heart, helping me heal more in regards to letting people get close to me, especially guys. Or at least a guy. 😉 I’ve also grown professionally because of coworkers and others investing time in me.
The biggest lesson I have been learning this year though is letting go of my dreams for my future, such as my future husband, in order for God to do His work in my life. Which, let’s be honest… God really does make the best stories.
Only problem is uhh… I am TERRIBLE at letting go. I hate not being in control. It’s terrifying. I hate that feeling of uncertainty, not knowing what’s going to happen or how a situation will turn out. I love being able to control it, even if it turns out horribly… which happens more than I probably should admit.
This past month or so I have really been challenged in this area.
Because of this and the resistance I feel towards it, I really believe my new word for 2018 will be Vulnerability.
Funny thing was, not long after I decided on the word and prayed over it, I recalled a memory from last year when I struggled with coming up with a word for 2017. I wanted to choose vulnerability, but God told me not yet. And honestly… I definitely wouldn’t have been ready for it this year. I had too much to work through to undo some damage from 2016. Also God had to do His special work on my heart this year to allow me to be in a position where I’m ready for this challenge.
When I first started thinking about my recap for this past year, I didn’t think I had experienced much transformation. I was embarrassed that I hadn’t focused on it enough or strived more to being “transformed by the renewing of my mind.” But God in His awesome way of turning bad into good, did transformation work in my life and heart. I am really realizing it now as I’ve been writing this recap. I am blown away by God’s faithfulness and awesomeness. I can’t believe He’d care that much about me to still do a work in my life.
I may not have experienced as much transformation as I had hoped to at the beginning of 2017, but I don’t really regret anything I had done this past year. I’ve learned a LOT.
So here’s to 2018.
May you be a year of more growth. A year of healing. A year of my heart’s “farrow ground” being broken up, so I can experience a relationship God and relationships with people in a whole new way – a year where I open up my heart to love (yikes) and allowing others to love me (also yikes).
May I enter 2018 with more preparedness than I entered 2017, so I am ready to fight the battles the enemy is already preparing for me.
2017 so long.
Woman of Purity ~
P.S. Dear Readers: I am not sure how your 2017 went, but I want to encourage you that no matter how it went, don’t focus all on the negative things that happened. Yes, feel free to acknowledge them, but I want to encourage you to instead focus on the good and the good that came from the bad. I hope you will then see God’s work in your life. I also want to encourage you to have this same attitude going in to 2018, and all the other years to come. If we focus our eyes on Jesus, we will find ourselves living a victorious life (not necessarily in a physical sense, but definitely spiritually). Let 2018 be a turning point for you and may your year be amazing.