I’ve arrived everyone!
I’ve made it.
I had it…
A terrible date.
Yep! I now feel official and like I have something to contribute to the world!!
Okay, I’m mostly kidding…
In all honesty though, I definitely learned WAY more from this experience from a few weeks ago than I had reading any self-worth books over the years! I was talking with a friend about this realization and I totally believe what I said: I’ve read so many times (as well as talked with friends) about saying “no” and setting boundaries when it comes to physical interactions with men… but it was completely different actually having to live those standards out.
Over the years I worried about how I would respond with someone pushing physical boundaries. I was worried I’d love the affection and attention too much to say no, that I wouldn’t be strong enough to resist. I surprised myself the other day though. I actually said no and held my ground! The guy kept trying to make moves on me that I was not ready for… and I actually let him know this! Thankfully, he for the most part, listened, which I know is a complete rarity and miracle.
I know I’m not the only one who has been on dates like this.
I also know I’m not the only one who has this kind of guy in your life – the one who talks smooth and wins you over, but whose actions don’t quite fully match up. The kind of guy who will sweet talk you into doing something you know shouldn’t be done, but he’s SO fine and so smooth with his persuasions, you feel like a jerk resisting and feel as if something is wrong with you.
If you don’t have a firm belief in your value and worth, you WILL succumb to their charm and intentions.
I believe the only reason I was able to resist this sweettalker was: I prayed about the date beforehand.
I knew I was in a run for it. I knew it was going to be tricky. I barely knew the guy and the few conversations I had with him had actually caused me to feel cautious. So… I did what I knew was the best thing: I asked God for help. I asked Him for wisdom AND the courage to act out that wisdom.
Alright, for those who wonder why I still went if I was feeling this way… well, curiosity and stubbornness to not quit kept me going. That, and my uncertainty that it was the Holy Spirit putting caution on my heart. I’m so glad I went though! The experience alone was completely worth it. I feel more confident and courageous in my actions towards men (especially this guy I’ve gone on a couple dates with this week). I feel my self-worth solidifying as I gain more and more courage to stand up for my standards.
I didn’t come to be this way from one bad date though. I have put years of work into changing my views of myself and believing God’s truth about me. I realize I almost make it seem like it was so easy to choose to stand up for my standards instead of settle for what felt good in the moment. It’s not at all! In fact, it was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. BUT… because I now have a way better view of who I am in Christ, and because I had spent time in prayer, it was easier than I expected.
I know it can be that way for you too.
Ladies… you are worth the world.
You are worth the man who will treat you with respect.
You are of value.
You have gifts and talents no one else possesses.
You have a story only you can live.
You are wanted.
You are needed.
You are worthy of love.
Please do not let guys tell you otherwise!
They do not know all.
Guys are human. They are dumb and they make decisions that aren’t correct. AND… they will not make your life complete. Do not put the standard on guys that you are nothing without a man, even if he doesn’t treat you like he should. It is SO possible to have a fine looking man who has the respect and love in his heart toward women that he should have.
Do not settle for less!
I wish you all the best.
~ Woman of Purity