I have a problem: I. Am. OBSESSED… with love songs.
Like I can’t get enough of them!
They play in my car, in my free time at home or coffee shops, and in my head as I sleep. Okay, I don’t remember my dreams, but I’m pretty sure they play over and over again then since I listen to them so much each day.
The other day was no different.
I was on my way home from something in Portland, blasting my Love Songs playlist, when all of a sudden I thought of you. I mean, I think of you often enough-ish with these love songs… but because of the season I’m in (letting a guy go), he’s unfortunately the main one I think of when it comes to these songs.
I thought of you though.
I thought of our future wedding (Hopefully that doesn’t sound as creepy as I just realized it sounded). I pictured our first dance together. I wondered which song we’d play as we got to spend that small intimate time together during our big day.
Would it be something like, “Can’t Help Falling In Love With You”?
Or how about… “A Thousand Years”, “Perfect”, or “Say You Won’t Let Go”?
Maybe even, “Endless Love” or “I Choose You”…?
(Of course, secretly I hope we choose “I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman… but that’s a slightly different/long story.)
But honestly… would these songs really fit our relationship? Would any of them fit YOU??
It dawned on me as I thought of these songs and you, that I keep trying to figure out who you are based on the lyrics of the songs I listen to.
I get lost in the wondering and begin to create you into fake characters: A fake person who is super sensitive, super observant, constantly wanting to put me first… Not that you can’t be that person, but let’s be honest, you’re not going to be perfect.
But for real… are you like any of these guys from these songs? Would any of them truly fit who you are? Am I placing you in a box by wishing you were like each guy these songs portray a love to be?
I wish I knew!! The suspense is almost killing me.
One thing I know for sure is… I need to stop trying to get God to bring me a “you” that’s based upon these love songs.
I need to trust that God has you amazingly designed to fit in life with me. I need to trust that God has made a man after His own heart that isn’t confined by any song or any feeling.
In the meantime, I’ll do my best to listen to these songs without expectations. I’ll listen to them with hope, but with an understanding that God has an amazing story about us already written. I will do my best to hold you to that standard instead of any song lyrics that tug my heartstrings.
I hold you in my heart and I pray for you often.
Love you in advance,
~ Woman of Purity