Oh 2020. The year we’ll all remember. The year the world seemed to implode more and more as time went on.
For many, this year was hard and discouraging. Many lost their jobs and loved ones. Friendships and families were split and severed because of differencing of opinions. Anger and hostility ran rampant. All were thrown into a world of isolation. Very few came through the year unscathed.
As much as I’d love to jump on the bandwagon and rail about how horrible 2020 was, I can’t. Part of this is because I haven’t lost a loved one or had to go through unemployment. Another part is because I know there is good that occurs through all the bad. I also know how to look through growth that has come from heartache and pain.
Now… I want to take a moment to address those who lost a loved one to COVID. Please hear my heart through this post and know I am SO extremely sorry you had to experience loss this past year. It shouldn’t have happened and I wish I could twist time so it wouldn’t. Same goes for all the hard stuff anyone has had to go through. I can’t make you see the good because I know what you’ve experienced can be suffocating, dark, and hopeless. I don’t want to dismiss what you’ve gone through, but instead let you know that I hear you and my heart breaks for you. I wish this year could have been different for you.
2020 for me has actually been one of my favorite years so far. I’ve grown A LOT – mainly my character and thankfully not really my waistline.
It’s always fun looking back on previous yearly recaps and seeing my intentions for the upcoming year. I always forget them throughout the year, but when I go back to re-read them, I see how God took what was on my heart and did even more than I could ask for or imagine.
I went into this year with the hope that I would discover what God had in store for my future. I knew I was meant for more, but had been content for years staying where I was at. I know how to nanny and be a barista… but it was time to move on and up in the world.
Now, I had started looking for a full time, with benefits, job at the end of November 2019. I applied to many different places and only secured 4 interviews. I was frustrated when none of those job opportunities panned out, but I was determined though and kept going. Well, until about early March. I gave up then. I was becoming discouraged and frustrated and decided to take a break and let God do His thing. If He wanted me to have a “grown-up” job, then He’d have to provide one.
About a week or so later, a friend of mine approached me and asked if I’d be willing to work for a small business company she currently worked at for about 5-10 hours a week. I thought “why not” and decided that I could handle an extra 2-3 hours of work a few days a week.
And then quarantine hit. And the company exploded.
Before we knew it, we were up to our ears in work and continued to be all summer long. What went from 5-10 hours a week turned into 15-20 which then eventually switched to full time. And then I became an employee! With benefits. (*insert head exploding emoji*)
What I almost passed over for a job turned out to be exactly what I needed and had been stressing and praying for. And let me tell you… this job has been GOOD for me. Not just with their really great benefits, but also because (as I like to joke) it’s been destroying my confidence.
That may totally sound like it shouldn’t be good, but for me it’s been one of the best things yet. This job is destroying my confidence, but it’s also been causing me to create healthy confidence; to have a backbone and take pride in my accomplishments. When I mess up, I don’t have to worry that my boss’ will react like I expect them to (thanks childhood trauma). And let me tell you… I’ve definitely messed up! (Just ask me sometime about how I accidentally changed the password to our instagram account – the new password was SO ironic, it’s almost embarrassing).
There is one area in particular I wanted to be intentional with. Actually, it was the only area I remembered, but that’s a different story.
Finishing the rough draft of my book.
I’ve been sitting on this book idea for YEARS… and it was time to finally sit down and finish it. I wanted to have the rough draft completed by the end of the year (should be easy… right?). I started the year strong – each Tuesday night I would go to Blackrock and spend a few hours writing. It was my sacred time and it was soooo nice.
Annnnddd then quarantine started. I no longer had my place to write. I had no desk in my room at the time and I needed somewhere to spread my notes and thoughts. Normally I’d take the dining room, but when you live with a family with 3 kids… it’s hard to do. So the book writing was pushed to the side.
I meant to still create a new time and place to write. Each Tuesday I remembered how I was supposed to be writing… but the excuses came and time flew.
Thankfully God is a God who works in our lives no matter if we are doing what we should or not, and throughout the year He kept feeding me ideas and thoughts for my upcoming book. I let the story simmer more and more as the months dragged on. AND THEN… Havilah Cunnington released an amazing Crash Course To Writing workshop that has completely changed my life. (and thankfully because of my new job, I could afford it) She’s given me tools to organize my thoughts and have some guidance of how to proceed with editing, publishing, and marketing.
I’d love to tell you that I’ve completed this goal… but I haven’t. I procrastinated too much, but I at least have an outline done for each chapter! I’m almost halfway done with the rough draft and hope to have the rest completed soon.
2020 did NOT go how anyone planned. Mine definitely didn’t, but I am still so thankful for this year! I’d begun a journey of really stepping out into the woman of God He’s created me to be… and it’s just going to keep getting better and better!
2020 was my year for being intentional
2021 will be a year of growth
I hope in this next year, God will continue to find ways to keep growing my confidence, grace, and heart for Him. I want to grow in my leadership ability as I help. Buuuutttt… we’ll see what God has in store for me. 🙂 I’m sure by the end of this year I’ll be laughing at my predictions for the year because God’ll do exceedingly above and beyond what I could ask or imagine for the year.
Hope your 2021 is a great year of restoring hope and bringing peace that surpasses all understanding to your lives. God’s not done yet.
Woman of Purity~
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